Sex! About two yearsago, a married man who doubled as a youth leader in my church said something to me. He said “when you get married, you'll get tired of sex”. He wasn't saying it for me to stop thinking of sex or reduce the way I have sex. No! Never!
He was saying it from a vantage point of disappointment. He must have had a better understanding of sex after marriage.
Okay, scratch that. First, let me tell you people that sex is overrated. It is receiving a hype that it doesn't deserve. Now I have grown to a reasonable extent. I know what I want in life and sex isn't in the list. When puberty comes, the urge to have a woman around you steps in. It grows to the desire to do something more than staying around. You want to 'do'. Then friends come around with porn videos and 'sexcapades'. You irk to have an experience of this supposed ecstasy. Now let me tell you what sex does…
Anything that makes you lose your sense isn't good. Anything that makes you keep your ego and all aside isn't so good.
Anything that brings out the animal in you isn't very good.
Anything that makes you break vows, rules and all breakables ain't cool. Now, Sex does all these. Your senses take flight and all you can think of is only sex. Men's ego dies when they are begging a girl for a round of sex. The animalistic nature of humans surfaces when the doors are locked, clothes removed and light off. (The reason doors are locked is simply to keep that nature of the peoples eyes).
Now should we talk about vows and sex? You vow up and down on the pulpit to be faithful to your wife or husband. The next thing, you go outside and do shit! Let me say this: any relationship that is punctuated with sex or a relationship that cannot function without sex isn't a relationship. Listen, I see relationships that are solely hinged on sex and all I do is shake my head and wonder how the world got to this point. Sex is only a jara. It's not the main thing. Even the bible said that the main aim of a man and a woman coming together is for companionship and not sex! You should be able to draw a line between relationship and 'situationship'.
Last weekend, I was privileged to be in the midst of three young female lawyers. We talked about almost everything disturbing humanity. When we got to the over hyping of sex, I heard something that made me cry. Goose bumps took over my skin. Let me give a summary of that. Woman went for child bearing and she had a tear in her privates so as to let the child come out well. Now, after the birth, she was expected to stay away from any vaginal movement for her to be healed perfectly. (Four months break). When she got home, the idiot she married refused to buy self control. He pushed and pushed and even threatened to go and 'do' outside. After arguments and long talks, the wife allowed him to 'do'. (The woman I think was being a good lady. But I’m not happy with her). After that, she began to bleed incessantly and bled to death. Now, sex cost her life. Let me say it again, if sex is the only thing that keeps you busy in your marriage, go to a therapist.
What happens to cuddling?
What happens to story sharing?
What happens to playing?
Must it be only sex?
Now the woman is dead and the man is married to another woman. Who he may kill again if given the opportunity. Brethren, please, sex is like growing up. When I was younger, I wanted to have beards and all. Right now I'm the one running. Marry for other reasons not for sex! I’m not ruling out the place of sex. No! Never! But then, buy sense and understand that there is more to life and happiness than sex. If you homogenize happiness and satisfaction to sex, please you don't know happiness at all!
God bless you!
Osuchukwu Mark Anthony is a young writer with a wit to reckon with. He believes that if humanity is a pot of rice, he definitely is a major spice. You can reach him via firstname.lastname@example.org